Hermione's Loyalties
by bethh-024
Summary: Hermione attains feelings for two different men, how will she decide where her loyalties lie?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling; I am simply a person who liked to play with her creations.**

They walked companionably together towards the Manor; the silence that fell between them was no worry. The man on the right occasionally glanced at the dark haired man to his left studying him quietly and contemplating what troubles lay before them both as they passed through the wrought iron gate with no need of opening it. Cane in hand, the man on the right began tapping lightly on the ground becoming wary of the situation that was about the envelope them. It wasn't until they reached the landing in the Manor that the dark haired man spoke,

"Do not worry yourself, Lucius. All will be well."

Lucius shivered slightly, apparently unaware that the giant black doors ahead of the two men had opened to reveal a very large, long table in the centre of the room. All seats at the table were taken apart from one.

"Severus. I am glad you are here," a cold voice drawled from the head of the table and he motioned towards a chair directly next to his.

Severus took this chair, glancing at Lucius quickly with no expression breaking that emotionless face. The man at the head of the table moved slowly from his chair, moving until he was face to face with Lucius and never breaking eye contact. Lucius looked down at the floor, only to see Nagini curled tightly around his master's legs. Looking back up, Lucius caught the Dark Lord's gaze and flinched, his long blonde hair filtering his face from the view of the others.

"Lucius. How _lovely _to see you again."

"M-my Lord," he began, with a subtle bow.

Lord Voldemort nodded his head slightly, before surveying the younger man with an unperceivable face. He then took out his wand and made eye contact with Lucius once again.

"This wand. It does not work for me. It has failed to kill Harry Potter on several separate occasions. Why do you think this is, Lucius?"

"I cannot answer that, my Lord."

"Can't you? Well, it should seem that I am in need of a new wand, Lucius. I require your wand."

From across the table, Narcissa looked up sharply to see her husband quivering in fear and she felt tears rise but forbade them to fall. Lucius glanced at her suddenly and she gave him a small, but reassuring smile and he took out his wand from his cane. As Narcissa watched him hand his wand over to the Dark Lord, she could not help but think what their lives would have been like if they had never been involved with the Dark Arts or with the Death Eaters or with the Dark Lord himself. As she trailed off in thought, she felt the chairs to her left move further away as another chair was placed beside her. Lucius placed himself next to his wife and ran his hand over hers lightly in need of comfort.

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Hermione Granger awoke to familiar surroundings in the Gryffindor Tower and begun to pack her things into her trunk. She was moving to the Head Girl's rooms today, after some confusion between the Head Boy decisions. After a long discussion between Dumbledore and McGonagall, Draco Malfoy was chosen as Head Boy. When Hermione had heard the news, she squirmed a little inside, as there had been many confrontations between her, Harry and Ron and the Malfoy family, especially Draco. She knew she would have to be companionable and reasonable in her actions towards him, but she knew it would be hard to restrain herself from turning him into a weasel every so often.

**Reviews please! This is my first fanfic and I want to know how rubbish it is and if I should continue ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Death Eaters sat silently around the table, each one glancing timidly up at their Dark Lord when he uttered a few words to Severus. They couldn't be sure what he had told his favourite follower but they all knew that it was important. Severus left the table, his billowing cloak adding to the presence he owned in every room. The Dark Lord watched him leave and as he heard the _pop _of Severus disapparating he stood slowly, bathing in the fearsome looks he received from his Death Eaters.

"Today is the day where we edge ahead in this war. As you can see, Severus has left us to attend to a most serious matter and will return shortly. When he does, he will be accompanied by our secret weapon and it is this weapon alone that I believe will win us the war." Voldemort spoke softly but also with underlying tone of triumph and satisfaction. Voldemort moved around the table until he was stood behind Lucius Malfoy and his wife.

"Lucius. Your moment has come, Severus will be bringing your boy back with him."

Lucius froze, paralysed with fear. _Draco…Draco was the weapon_ he thought, praying that he had misunderstood the situation but he could not think of another explanation. The Dark Lord surveyed the table in front of him before nodding to Peter Pettigrew. The dumpy, rat-like man scurried away excitedly whilst muttering to himself, he was not allowed a seat at the table. Lucius and his wife exchanged nervous looks after the Dark Lord's news before grasping each other's hands underneath the table, hoping…praying that their son was safe.

Pettigrew returned to the room at quite a pace, a body floating silently behind him. It was a woman. Her hair had fallen and enclosed her face, Lucius did not recognise her but he felt mournful already just at her presence. The Dark Lord would not capture somebody in this way unless he meant to cause them harm or even death. Pettigrew flicked his wand and the limp body hovered across the table until she was right in the centre. Voldemort smiled maliciously and with the most casual tap of his wand she fell, dead, onto the table below.

Narcissa jumped, unaware of Pettigrew's presence or even the body that had floated past her, her thoughts remained with Draco. She had made the Unbreakable Vow with Severus no longer than a month ago but still the anxiety made her sick. As soon as she thought of this, Severus returned with Draco at his side. Draco looked even paler than usual, his sleek blonde hair frayed slightly and not perfectly combed, as he preferred.

"Draco, I believe you have something for me," the Dark Lord commanded.

"Yes…I have bro-"

"Just give it to me." the Dark Lord's voice rose for a second before returning to usual, evil and cold.

With a very slight nod, Draco left the room and muffled shouting could be heard. He returned holding a girl by her hair. Voldemort took out Lucius's wand and cast a body-bind curse on the girl. She felt instantly silent as she struggled against the bonds holding her tightly, Draco dragging her useless body towards the table. Severus took his seat next to the Dark Lord, while Draco was left without a chair to sit on so he stood patiently. Lord Voldemort flicked his wand again and the girl levitated until she was lying flat on her back on the table before the Death Eaters. A tear soundlessly managed to escape from her hazel brown eyes, as the men and women around the table let out a roar of laughter at recognising their guest.

Severus made eye contact with the girl, something he had refused to do while he was in her presence. His cold, emotionless face allowed no feelings to show but if they had, the Dark Lord would have had many questions for Severus. The girl that lay there, vulnerable and at their mercy, was Hermione Granger.

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After unpacking her things and making her self at home, Hermione Granger allowed her self some relaxation time in front of the fire. For once, this did not include books, which was surprising considering she had just brought herself some new Potions novels that were extremely rare. She slowly closed her eyes, feeling content and comfortable with her new rooms as Head Girl. A subtle creaking of a door was unnoticed by Hermione as she continued to dream about attaining an O in her Charms final.

A tall, dark haired man stepped into the threshold accompanied by a much shorter blonde haired boy. They immediately spotted the frizzy haired girl lying before the fire and with a furrowing of his eyebrows; Severus Snape cast the _Petrificus Totallus _charm onto Hermione. Draco then hurried over to her and lifted her with another charm over to where Severus stood. The two men exchanged a confirming look and the elder man grasped Draco's shoulder and Hermione's arm as he apparated them all back to Malfoy Manor.

When they arrived, Draco dropped Hermione to the ground until the Dark Lord needed her. Leaving her lying on the floor, with a look of contentment on her face from whilst she was dreaming, the two men opened the doors to the main hall. After a minute's discussion between Draco and Voldemort, Draco returned to fetch Hermione just as the effects of the curse had fully worn off.

"What am I doing here?" Hermione hissed viciously.

"The Dark Lord ordered me to bring you here, now shut up and come with me!" Draco ordered, grabbing Hermione's shoulder forcefully in the process.

"No! I'm not going anywhere with you, now let me go!"

Draco cast a quick silencing charm onto Hermione and grasped her hair before pulling her into the Death Eater's meeting. Hermione's mind swirled as she tried to comprehend the situation; she was lying on her sofa sleeping peacefully and now she was in Malfoy Manor about to confront Voldemort! She knew there was nothing she could do for the moment; her wand was back at Hogwarts, she would just have to think quickly later.

As Voldemort saw Hermione being pulled into the room, he cast a body-binding curse onto her, leaving her silent. Hermione wriggled against the charm but could not fight it off. She felt herself floating into the air and across the table until she fell with some force. Realisation hit her; if she would not give up the information that Voldemort wanted, she would probably be killed. A small tear fell from her eye as she thought about her life, everybody she would never see again, and everything she would never do in her life. And then she caught the eye of Professor Snape.

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Severus Snape looked into the girl's eyes. There was something more to them than he'd ever seen before. Her know-it-all attitude dominated his vision of her, until now, as she lay before him frightened and alone. He studied her carefully, regret etched into every cell of his body before he quickly recovered, fearing the Dark Lord may notice. His eyes wandered to her lips, her quivering lips, and the longing that arose in his body shocked him. Quickly pushing these thoughts from his mind, he looked to his master, only to find his master was already staring back at him.

**Reviews please :D**

**Let me know how rubbish this is, ahaha.**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you for the reviews Azure83 and InspiredByWords, they were lovely and I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

**This entire fanfic is dedicated to Just Yana, G_Un and you_two on Twitter, they've been reviewing me via there so thank you all for your support!**

His gleaming red eyes narrowed as he pierced Severus with his domineering gaze. _Shit _thought Severus, his clever mind whirring but still struggling for an excuse; he had been caught. Not a word was spoken between them until Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair and Voldemort spoke:

"Explain."

A single word and every person in the room hung on the silence, waiting for the response. It was as if Severus's eyes were clamped upon his master's; the eye contact was never broken. Voldemort remained still, like a snake that had coiled and was ready to strike. The silence between them was painful for all, Severus knew his time was running out. He had to think quickly.

During this tense encounter, Lucius and Narcissa were thanking the heavens that Draco was safe and that Hermione was the weapon. Lucius sneered, _pretty little mudblood, it's a shame really. _Then a thought struck him. We should get out of here and out of the country. Escape from Voldemort and his Death Eaters, away from the dangers that this war posed against their family. Firstly Voldemort takes over his home and then he threatens his family! Lucius began formulating a plan before giving his wife a warm smile and squeezed her hand gently; they were going to get out of this. Lucius's good mood evaporated as his master suddenly raised his voice:

"_Crucio!" _the Dark Lord screeched, aiming his wand directly at Snape, who writhed in agony against his chair. He kept his mouth sealed shut, refusing to give the Dark Lord the pleasure and satisfaction of hearing his pain. He remained silent, struggling against not only the pain but also the fear of not being able to help Hermione. Severus felt himself drifting slowly from consciousness, the torture he felt contorting his body until he could take it no longer. Voldemort continued this punishment for several minutes until Snape felt to the floor, blood trailing down the side of his face and grouping in a puddle on the floor.

As Severus lost all conscious mind, the one thing he knew what that he **had **to save Hermione, even if it cost him his life. Luckily, he had prepared for such a situation. Pressing his whole thumbprint to a ring he wore on his left hand, he slumped satisfied against the ground losing consciousness and knowing he had done all that he could. At the sight of him, Hermione wept and knew that her last chance to escape had been stolen from her. Anger coursed through her veins as she shut her eyes tightly from the world. A sudden _crack _forced her to open them again and she felt hope rising suddenly in her heart. _They have come for me! The Order is here!_

Sure enough in a matter of minutes, the entire Order of the Phoenix had surrounded the table, wands pointing at each Death Eater's throat. Voldemort was left, scanning the scene with inscrutable anger rising behind his snake-like features. Tonks stumbled over to where Severus lay, grabbing his arms and disapparating with him. Harry and Ron appeared over Hermione's head, anxious and worried looks on their heroic faces. She managed a weak smile before she felt them both grab onto her with one hand.

"_Reducto!" _yelled Arthur Weasley and Remus Lupin simultaneously, causing the wall behind the Death Eaters to crumble and fall to the ground. Dust consumed the air around them all, and without leaving Voldemort any time to react or attack, the Order disapparated together along with the rescued Hermione. The dust began to settle and as Voldemort saw that Hermione was missing, he knew exactly what had happened. Rage overcame him; his body seized up and he roared in anger, shooting a jet of red light from his wand, which exploded like a bomb against the roof of Malfoy Manor. The ceiling collapsed upon the Death Eaters, while Voldemort flew out of the building. He knew he wouldn't have killed any of his Death Eaters by doing that but he hoped they learnt their lesson. He did not like to be disappointed.

As the Order of the Phoenix apparated back at headquarters, Hermione slumped into Harry and Ron's arms, exhausted from her ordeal. She closed her eyes but could not sleep and Severus came instantly back into her mind.

"Severus!" she cried, without thinking or caring what anyone else thought.

She tried to hold herself and run to find him, but her legs just gave way underneath her and she fell to the floor. Ron and Harry muttered between themselves at her use of Professor Snape's first name and then picked her up between them and carried her to her room. She struggled against them, crying out for Severus but gave up at her lack of energy and emotional weakness after being tied up for so long. She lay in the bed, thinking only of him and her mind swam in images of the look on his face whilst he was being tortured. Suddenly she felt sick and tried to block these memories from her head, but she couldn't. He had refused to tell Voldemort any information about her, he had chosen to accept the Cruciatus Curse rather than risk her safety. She pondered this for a moment, before falling asleep with Severus in her thoughts.

After Harry and Ron had put her to bed, they clambered down the stairs before asking Tonks what had happened to Snape. It was not like they cared what had happened to the greasy git, but Hermione seemed to think there was something terribly wrong. They turned the corner to find many people, members of the Order of the Phoenix, crowded around a bed. Racing up to the side of the bed, they saw Snape wrapped in bandages with Madame Pomfrey and Remus Lupin drowning him in potions and casting medical charms over his lifeless body. He was an off-white colour, his face wincing every so often and his body clenched as if he was in terrible pain. Harry tried not to look at his Professor's face but he couldn't help it; he looked awful and Harry wanted to help. Even though Ron had never liked him, he felt sick at the sight of Snape, wishing that he could just get well and be horrible to them again.

Madam Pomfrey ushered them out of the room with the words,

"We will be lucky if he makes the morning."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, they mean the world and they keep me writing these stories :D

The sunlight began peering through the slits in the blinds as morning rose; Hermione squinted and rubbed her eyes, accustoming to the brightness. It was still quite early, around six or seven she guessed, so she swung her legs to the side of the bed and helped herself up. Thoughts and worried swarmed her mind instantly like angry bees, giving her a vicious headache. In her head, she saw Severus lying alone in some hospital bed, twisting and turning, helplessly enduring the after-effects of the Cruciatus curse. In that moment she decided that she **had **to find him.

Stepping outside of her bedroom door, her knees felt weak and shaky but her desire to find Severus drove her on. People must find her use of his first name weird, she thought, but after everything that had happened, it just seemed the norm. He was like a friend, someone she could rely on even though he probably didn't feel the same. Hermione needed to see he was okay, the movement of his chest as he took in breath, the gentle beating of his heart, the granite colour of his eyes getting closer and closer to hers…she blinked suddenly, realising her mind had wandered and she looked up to see she was right outside the room where Severus was resting.

Carefully pushing open the door, she saw him. He lay motionless on the bed whilst occasionally twitching slightly in his sleep but then returning to a peaceful state. She smiled inwardly, he was okay, he was alive and that was all that mattered. She sat herself down in a chair next to his bed, thinking about the day before in the Manor and his selflessness and courage. She stroked a loose piece of hair from his face and he grumbled slightly at her touch. A proper smile appeared on her face this time and she resumed stroking his face. It was unbelievable to her that this was the same man that had branded her a 'know-it-all' for the past six years of her life, the same man that made her feel like she was safe, that made her heart jump when he walked into a room. His face was so relaxed, like she had never seen it; comforting like she had dreamt and even…handsome? Her hand paused, resting on his face and she looked sentimentally down upon him.

"He's been recovering here since the Order brought you both back," a voice spoke from behind her.

Hermione jumped, snatching her hand back, blatantly unaware that anyone else was in the room. Then she admitted to herself that her eyes hadn't left Severus since she had entered the room.

"Oh…" she muttered, at a loss for words and feeling slightly embarrassed.

Madam Pomfrey moved forward into the light, placing a hand on the younger woman's shoulder and giving it a light, reassuring squeeze. She then stood and walked to the door, giving Hermione an understanding nod, feeling her need to be alone with him. It was pretty much because of him that she was still here. Hermione's gaze returned to Severus, she felt so content just sitting there in his presence that she didn't realise how quickly the time flew. She was surprised yet again when she heard the familiar voice of her Headmaster.

"Miss Granger, Madam Pomfrey has informed me that you are well enough to accompany me back to Hogwarts now, if you so wish," he paused, eyes twinkling mischievously as he spotted Hermione's hand lying extremely close to Severus's.

"Of course, Professor."

And with that she stood, taking his arm and giving Severus one last concerned look before they apparated together back to the Headmaster's study.

"Is there anything you wish to speak with me about, Miss Granger? If not, feel free to return to your rooms. Harry and Ron will be arriving back soon too, I am sure you cannot wait to see them," he said, with a warm tone to his voice. He knew instinctively that something was bothering her, most probably concerning Severus Snape.

"Uhm…Sir, will Professor Snape be okay? Will he return to Hogwarts soon?" she asked, trying to mask her obvious fear for his well-being. Dumbledore nodded knowingly and paused to properly phrase his answer.

"Madam Pomfrey has been using a newly developed potion to treat the after-effects of the Cruciatus curse, ironically created by Severus himself. He has been progressing well and is not longer in a critical condition. I am pleased to tell you he will be returning in the next few weeks," he beamed.

Hermione could not restrain her relieved gasp and beamed back up at her Headmaster.

"Thank you Professor!" she squealed and skipped from his office, leaving Albus with a thoughtful look on his face but a dilemma on his mind. If this was what it looked like to him, he had better make some changes.

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A couple of weeks past and snow descended upon Hogwarts. The grounds looked perfect and truly magical covered in ice and frost; everyone at Hogwarts was making the most out of the rare weather. Hermione meanwhile had kept her eyes peeled for Severus around school until finally one day she over-heard a conversation between Professors McGonagall and Flitwick, discussing Snape's return that evening. Upon hearing it, Hermione's heart leapt and she found herself unable to concentrate fully on any task that day.

That evening she felt she had to see him, she needed to. So, she crept from her rooms down to the dungeons and knocked cautiously on the large brown door until she heard a curt "enter" from deep within. As soon as her eyes met his, she felt relief wash over her, like the calm before the storm. He looked into her hazel brown eyes; beginning to lose himself…he had missed looking into those eyes. Then he quickly regained his composure and asked her why she had 'graced him with her presence'. Before she could formulate a reply, the dungeon door slammed open against the wall and in strode Draco Malfoy.

"What are _you_ doing here, Mudbloo-"

Before Malfoy could finish his insult, there was a blinding flash of white light as Severus slashed through the air with his wand. Draco stumbled backwards, clutching his face before blood began to seep through his fingers and ran down his pale arms. Hermione stood, perplexed with fear, looking quickly to Severus with panic smeared across her face. He stood there, arms folded looking impassive but refusing to make eye contact with Hermione. Without warning, the fire in Severus's rooms erupted with green flames and out stepped Lucius Malfoy. He jabbed his wife's wand into Severus's throat hard and threateningly.

"What. Have. You. Done." His tone was quiet but dripping in malice.

Severus whipped out his wand, pushing Hermione to the side out of danger. She instinctively ran over to Draco, muttering healing spells and reassuring words. It was not severe, just a deep slash through his cheek; she let out a relieved sigh, Draco was always one for over-reacting.

Lucius threw his arms out to the side of his body, causing all of the potions and glass to explode with an almighty smash. Severus flicked his wand, banishing any of the glass or potion remains to reach him as had been intended, before conjuring a snake like shape from the embers and directing it towards Lucius. It consumed him before he could respond. Severus looked over to Hermione quickly to check she was okay and that he had not hurt Draco _too _badly. He couldn't stop himself, Draco had called her a _mudblood_. Painful recollections of that word collected in his mind and he knew what he had done was right; he was protecting Hermione from the same word that had destroyed him and Lily.

Without warning, Lucius collected himself before lifting his arms into the air, all the debris from the explosion rising with them before he threw his arms to the floor. The glass and remains flew like a thunderbolt across the room towards Severus until they suddenly turned to sand. Lucius turned around curiously, looking for Severus's saviour and his eyes met those of Albus Dumbledore, who had a rather grim look on his face.

"You may leave now, Lucius. I think you have caused enough damage for one day. Draco will be fine."

Dumbledore's voice remained calm, but it was an order all the same. Lucius quickly turned to Severus and Hermione who were standing so closely together that they looked as if they had just been embracing. He flashed them both a nasty glare before moving swiftly from the room.

"Draco, come with me and we will get Madam Pomfrey to have a look at your wounds. Severus, Miss Granger." He nodded and left with Draco.

No words were spoken at all between Severus and Hermione. It was as if they both knew the other's thoughts. Severus looked deeply into her eyes and his features relaxed noticeably; Hermione tucked herself underneath his arm and walked them both over to the sofa in front of the fire. Severus sat with his back against the sofa, allowing Hermione to rest her head on hi chest. They fell asleep together in this position, with both of them feeling more content than they had been in years, completely at ease. Neither could tell the other of their true feelings, it was such a complicated relationship. But as they lay there together in perfect harmony, their heart rates both slowed until they collectively beat as one.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you again for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

When Hermione awoke, she was in her own bed in the Head Girl's rooms. She lay there for a moment, perplexed about last night's events but then decided it would be best to patch things up with Draco. Her heart warmed inside her as she remembered Severus protecting her against Draco's words and she felt wonderful and complete just thinking about him.

Stepping carefully down the stairs to her and Draco's shared living room, she made eye contact with the blonde haired boy, who was watching her closely. She gave him an apologetic smile as she spoke.

"Draco, I hope you're okay. I mean-" she began.

"No Hermione. It's me, I apologise. We really need to be at least civil when we live in such close conditions. I'm sorry and I honestly don't expect you to forgive me for calling you a…"

"It's okay, honestly."

Hermione opened her mouth stupidly, before closing it again and looking at her feet, looking embarrassed. Draco smiled before saying a quick goodbye and exiting their rooms. Hermione stood there for a while, thinking that this could be the start of a lifelong friendship.

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A month passed at Hogwarts. Everyone was getting on with their lessons, revising for their NEWTs or OWLs that were slowly creeping up on them. Hermione spoke less and less with Harry and Ron, most of her free time was spent in the company of Draco Malfoy or she was alone revising soundly. She never heard from Severus. Dumbledore had deemed it appropriate to have her taught higher-level potions by Horace Slughorn due to her considerable skill and high ambitions. Because of this arrangement, she had no opportunity to see Severus and he made no effort whatsoever to seek her out.

She decided that she would skip her potions lesson with Slughorn, giving him the excuse that she was going to ask Professor Snape for some ingredients she needed for next lesson. With that reason, he **had **to help her. Hermione grinned at her own cunning, before making her way to Severus's rooms.

Severus sat at his desk, his mind useless while _she _dominated it as she always did. All he could see was her caramel eyes, her dark eyelashes and the tears that swallowed them as she saw him under the Dark Lord's torture…and then suddenly – there she was. As if by magic, she appeared in front of him in his rooms and began to speak.

"Severus, I wondered if I could talk with you for a minute or two…" her voice trailed off, he often had this effect on people.

"Of course, Herm-Miss Granger," he kicked himself, she was Hermione in his thoughts but he could not lower his defences to her like this; he could never reveal his true feelings.

"Please, call me Hermione," she sat down in front of him, "could I ask…why does the Dark Lord require…me?" She decided to just go for it, like ripping off a band-aid. Avoiding this subject wasn't helping anyone.

He froze. His body became rigid; he was definitely not good in social situations, especially with the one woman who somehow managed to melt his solid heart. Except, of course, Lily. Sighing, he stood and gazed down at her.

"The Dark Lord believes that you are essential to getting information about Potter. He believes that you alone can win him this war." He thought it was probably better to be short and sweet with her than stringing it out and causing more hurt. She looked puzzled and Severus had to mask the smile that threatened to pass his lips; Hermione Granger's confused face was a rare treat.

"But…why did you take that torture-why for me?" she dared, instantly regretting it by the look that appeared on his face.

At this, Severus knew he had to hold her at arm's length, this was a sensitive subject and he didn't want any trouble or to arouse her suspicions.

"Please, Hermione. I only did what I had to on Dumbledore's orders. Don't tell me that you misinterpreted this as _feelings of affection_," He sneered nastily.

"You're just a know-it-all, bushy haired Gryffindor dunderhead, most certainly not worthy of my attention!"

She flinched, obviously stung by his words. Her eyes swam in tears before they fell down her face and she ran. Severus closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain he was feeling in his heart but he couldn't. He was not used to this, he was not used to _any_ feelings in his heart…his mind wandered to Lily and then he snapped back to reality. Hermione's tears had cut through him like shards of ice but he knew she could never hear of his feelings, somehow he didn't fancy rejection again. At this, he cracked open a bottle of Firewhiskey, downing the lot and feeling the satisfaction of drowning his sorrows. Severus felt sick to his stomach; he had just hurt her beyond repair and just sat there, allowing her to run away.

After somehow making her way back to her rooms blinded by tears and hurt, she burst through the portrait to see Draco standing there. Thank Merlin they had grown so close over the past month! The look on his face was of genuine concern and he made a weird movement towards her, like he was going to hug her.

"Hermione, what's happened?" sudden realisation hit him, "is it Snape? My Dad'll kill him!" his voice grew in volume, as he shuddered in anger.

"No, no. Honestly, don't worry about it," she sniffed.

"What about if we have a long talk, you can let everything out. Sit here," he said motioning towards the sofa "and I'll get us some tea."

She nodded, so glad to have a friend there for her, even if it was Draco Malfoy. She was kind of glad that it wasn't Harry or Ron, they simply wouldn't have understood. When he returned with their drinks, they sat down together and Draco talked calmly to her about what had happened. Hermione knew she couldn't tell him, she wasn't even sure herself yet but she could feel that she was losing control. Her heart was falling away from her, sinking into an abyss that she couldn't prevent. She hated this, the unknowable approaching and there was nothing she could do to prepare. All she could think was about Severus, how he had hurt her and why he affected her so.

Hermione realised she had been quiet for a while, so she sipped her tea and asked Draco abut himself; he could talk for England once he felt comfortable enough. Hermione listened intently, determined for her and Draco to become really good friends. Her thoughts swayed from Severus, who made her heart beat fervently, to Draco and then involuntarily…to Lucius Malfoy.

Without realising, Hermione had completely zoned out. She felt ashamed to have been thinking about Lucius, he is _Draco's Dad! _She couldn't help it, and whenever she looked at Draco she could see Lucius imprinted on him. Pushing these forcedly unwanted thoughts from her mind, she returned to laughing and joking with Draco for the rest of the morning until lunch. Accompanying Draco to lunch, she received a lot of weird looks from fellow Gryffindors and Slytherins but neither of them minded in the slightest, they enjoyed each other's company very much. She dared a glance up at the staff table and, seeing that Severus hadn't arrived yet, she returned to eating her lunch with Draco.

Sitting alone in the cold, dank dungeons, he couldn't stop thinking about her, only her. The words he had spat nastily at her, how tears had sprung readily to her eyes and how he'd wanted to embrace her and apologise over and over and over. His heart felt lighter than ever before, like it could fly away and leave him stranded. He felt bad for offending her, so bad that he could never forgive himself, but he had to keep his distance. There had been enough mistakes on his part already and he knew she would never love him.

He had never known this feeling before and right there and then he knew that he loved her. Somehow, somewhere along the line he had fallen in love with Hermione. After finally allowing himself to admit this, he smiled broadly, feeling like someone had lifted a huge weight off his mind. **He loved her. **But then a feeling of dread took over him as he saw himself kissing her, being with her, holding her and he realised that it would never become a reality. It hurt him so much, so much it was indescribable. It felt like someone was trying to cut out his heart with a blunt knife, taking away his only means of living. With this thought, he knew what he was going to do.

No matter how wonderful she may be, she would never reciprocate these feelings and he didn't want to be faced with the pain of rejection he would be left with. _He loved her and he had to respect her, no matter what the consequences. _Se could **never **know.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I have planned to write 8 chapters in total, but that may be extended to 9 or even 10 if there is too much content to squeeze into 8 thanks for all the positive reviews, you guys are the best!

After lunch with Draco, Hermione felt like she needed to be alone for a little while. Harry and Ron obviously felt rejected because she had chosen Draco Malfoy of all people over them to eat dinner with. She knew she'd have to beg for forgiveness but now was not the time; her feelings and emotions were already a mess without this added hassle. Entering her rooms, she lay on her stomach at the centre of her four-poster bed. Placing her head down onto the pillow, she began to cry; these were tears of sorrow and rejection, hurt and heartbreak. Severus's word replayed constantly in her mind like a stuck tape, paining her heart more and more each time her heart beat…for him. She couldn't believe how he had cut himself off from her; she honestly thought he had harboured _some _sort of affection towards her. This just made her cry even harder, her heart wrenching painfully as she struggled to take in breath. She clenched her eyelids tightly together, determined never to let **anyone **in to her heart like this again. The crying exhausted her already drained mind and she drifted off into a deep sleep.

He saw all of this. Involuntarily, he saw everything. All of her deepest, darkest desires the way his words had affected and _scarred _her. It was as if his mind had magnetically connected to hers, as if his love was so powerful that their minds had seized together for a moment. He felt her emotions spreading through him like electricity, hurting him as he felt the pain that _he _had caused. He balled his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms until they bled profusely, refusing to cease like they were showing him what he deserved. Acting more from his heart than his brain, he paced his rooms urgently until roughly midnight before striding up to Hermione's rooms and creeping up into her bedroom.

Being the powerful wizard that he is, Severus had no need for portrait passwords or to break wards, he simply strode through, the force of love driving his mindless body. And then he saw her. His heart stopped momentarily at the sight of her tear stained face, while the moonlight cast a glow upon her that made her look inhumanly beautiful. Without reasoning or doubt, he scooped her lifeless body into his arms and carried her to the top of the Astronomy Tower.

When he reached the top, he sat down upon one of the walls that encircled him and held Hermione in his arms. Wrapping his cloak around her, he shared his warmth with his love, keeping her close to him. She stirred slightly at this close contact, snuggling into the warm of his body and he began to panic; he had not thought about the consequences if she awoke. He rocked her slowly in his arms, gazing down upon the beautiful witch with such admiration and love in his eyes. Then on a spur of the perfect moment, he kissed her lips. It was a tender and unexpected kiss but Severus felt his heart pang at the intimacy. She shifted again, but this time her eyes flickered open and she locked eyes with Severus. He froze and tried to somehow pretend he was a figment of her imagination.

Hermione saw Severus looking down upon her as she lay in his arms. Her lips tingled oddly and she felt as if this was a wonderful dream. Sliding her arms around his neck, she pulled his head down and kissed him with such passion that Severus had to pull back to steady himself. She rose to meet his lips again, granting his tongue entry to her mouth and tangling her fingers into his hair. Severus felt so alive; so in love. He explored her mouth with his tongue, the kiss growing in passion every second as if they were drowning without each other.

Finally they broke apart, simply staring at one another in ecstasy until Hermione lay back in his arms once more and fell asleep. Severus watched her sleeping, taking in every detail of her that he could; the way her chest rose and fell as she slept, how sometimes she would wrinkle her nose subconsciously in her own little dream world. The moon glistened softly above the couple accompanied by thousands upon thousands of beautiful stars twinkling soundly. Severus gazed perplexed by the magnificence of the night's sky, as if he had never seen it properly before; Hermione brought this out in him. Gently lifting her once again, he carried her back to her dormitory before laying her in her bed and returning to the dungeons. He slept better that night than he had since the Dark Lord's rise to power, but he knew that was it for him and her.

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Hermione awoke the next morning with a smile cemented on her face, but she had no idea why. Scouring her brain, she remembered a dream she had had the night before about her and Severus at the top of the Astronomy Tower. Her smile quickly turned sour as she realised it had only been a dream. Red-hot anger seeped through her entire body; thinking about him constantly was not doing her any good at all! Deciding there and then to forget him forever and put an end to all this, she devised a plan to clear him from her mind once and for all. She jumped down the stairs from her room to the living room, finding Draco there as she had hoped.

"Hey Draco!" she called brightly.

"Hey 'Mione, you okay?" he answered.

She nodded before pulling him into a bone-crunching hug. He returned the hug, then stood back and gave her an odd look.

"Just to say thank you for being here for me through everything that's happened with…everything," she said eventually.

Draco nodded.

"You're welcome…" he began before he saw tears swelling in her eyes and he rushed to comfort her. "Hermione, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she sighed "I just know that you go for dinner with your family tonight, don't you? I really didn't want to be alone right now."

"Well," he paused, trying not to be uncaring and insensitive "why don't you come with me…"

"Oh Draco! Really? That would be lovely! If it's okay with your family of course."

"Of course it will be." He hid his worries spectacularly.

She smiled thankfully but as soon as his back was turned her smile turned to a look of triumph. Draco knew he was fucked, his parents would be livid at him for bringing Hermione over for dinner, but he couldn't back out now. It will be fine, he told himself, but he knew it was helpless. He was just trying to be a good friend.

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Severus stood at the top of the Astronomy Tower, reflecting on what had happened here last night. He surveyed the grounds of Hogwarts, seeing the Giant Squid flopping lazily around the lake and the Thestrals stretching their wings over the Forbidden Forest. It was as if he had never opened his eyes to the beauty of this place in his thirty years of being here. Even though it was Hermione that had opened his eyes and his heart to happiness and love, he knew he had to let her go. Being honest to himself, he never really had her to let go of in the first place. She would never be his, he had experienced similar thoughts in the past and lived through the pain and he could do it again.

_He had to let her go._


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione went out and brought an expensive new dress especially for the meal with Draco's family. Honestly, she did think it was a little dangerous, considering both Lucius and Narcissa are very close to the Dark Lord, but it was all going to work out like she had planned. She would finally be left alone finally, free from the horrific torture of unrequited love. She studied herself in the mirror before pulling her dress down a little and grinning mischievously. After spending several hours de-frizzing her hair and layering on the make-up, she deemed herself fit to be seen in public and left her room. Draco stood waiting at the bottom of the stairs, gawking in awe when he saw her appear.

Hermione wore a skin-tight strapless red dress that hugged her waist and then fell beautifully just above her knees. Her hair was held in a knot, while loose strands were curled and lay around her face. Her lips were blood red, sparkling slightly in the low light and her eyes twinkled at Draco's gaze.

"Shall we go?" he asked, offering her his arm.

She took it and they walked over to the fireplace. Draco took some floo powder and threw it down whilst shouting "Malfoy Manor!" They appeared arm in arm out of the fireplace to Lucius and Narcissa's shocked faces.

"Draco! What is the meaning of _this?_" Lucius demanded, pointing directly at Hermione with his cane before surveying her intently. She looked very desirable for a _mudblood._

"Dad-Hermione just…I don't want her to be alone this evening, so I invited her along. Mum?"

Narcissa smiled at her son, secretly filled with pride

"Draco, don't you _understand? _If the Dark Lord were to find out of this arrangement, we would all be punished severely" Lucius's voice was gaining volume and intensity with each word her spoke, it took several minutes of Narcissa's calm words to restrain him.

After Lucius's little outburst, he settled quite quickly and after a few drinks and casual conversation between the four of them, a house elf carefully crept from the kitchens to whisper to Narcissa that dinner was ready. Hermione was sure that if Lucius had seen the house elf, it would've been thrown or kicked from the room. The evening passes smoothly without event, with Hermione seated next to Draco and opposite Lucius. She often found herself admiring the dining room between courses; it was traditionally decorated and was how she would have imagined. It was such a grand room that perfected reflected the Malfoy family; there were lots of green furnishings and the walls were painted a deep colour that could easily be mistaken for black. A warm fire crackled absently in the background.

When they had finished eating, all four of them retired to the sofas by the fire. Hermione was given a large glass of white wine and after drinking it rather quickly she fell asleep by the fire. Opening her eyes slowly, she could see and feel the warm, orange glow from the fire. As she turned her head, she could make out Lucius's silhouette beside her. Propping herself up against the back of the sofa, she caught his gaze; his eyes were wandering all over her body. She smiled cheekily at him, before putting her plan into action.

"Oh Lucius, has everybody gone to bed?"

"Yes." He answered curtly.

"I'm sorry if I kept you up…" she said, moving up the sofa a little towards him.

He did not reply, still watching her intensely for any signs of further movement.

"Remember when you duelled Severus in the dungeons a while back?"

He raised an eyebrow quizzically before slowly answering "…yes."

"I thought you were the better wizard, you know…" she said softly, before leaning closely to him and whispering in his ear "you could have taken him easily if Dumbledore hadn't of interrupted."

She leaned away again, making sure to give him an eyeful of the low V-neck of her dress. Lucius grinned sexily; _she really knew how to push his buttons. _Now it was his turn to lean over to her, whispering ever so quietly "thank you, _Hermione. _You look rather incredible tonight."

She winked at him before murmuring closely into his neck and ear "it's for you."

He eyed her curiously before reaching over and squeezing her leg.

"I'm glad Draco brought you here tonight," he said, reading the signals she was sending loud and clear.

She enclosed his face with one of her hands, softly stroking his cheek before moving even closer yet again. Allowing her other hand to move tantalisingly closely over and up his leg, she brushed her lips across his, smelling his unfamiliar scent. He opened his mouth slightly before completing the kiss and enjoying her taste on his tongue. Hermione kissed him back, but it lacked the passion that she had felt burn her insides like when she was dreaming of Severus. Quickly, she pushed these thoughts away, focussing back onto Lucius.

His long blonde hair fell over the back of the sofa, his cold blue eyes flickered with lust as he looked over her. She began to unbutton his shirt and he unzipped her dress. She undid his trousers before removing them completely. He pulled her dress over her head. The last thing he saw was her gorgeous body over him before he was consumed by ecstasy.

_She was lying alone in the grounds of Hogwarts on a fine summers day until he saw her and approached. Sitting beside her, they sat together in complete silence. She craved him like water in a desert, needing him there with __**all **__of the time. She made him promise never to leave, saying that her existence was pointless without him there to complete her. He agreed and made her swear to the same thing before they smiled at each other and returned to watching the world pass them by._

_**Neither could live while the other survived.**_

She woke abruptly, haunted by the nightmare that had invaded her dreams. Realising she was naked, she clutched Lucius's shirt to her body and hastily put it on. Lucius was still sleeping, thank Merlin, his limbs tangled in many places with her own. Climbing over him, she ran to the fireplace and flooed back to her and Draco's rooms.

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Draco returned a few hours later, asking why Hermione had disappeared.

"I just had work that I had forgotten about, sorry Draco. Oh, and I forgot to thank your parents for that lovely meal…" she paused, realising she may have already thanked Lucius in a rather unorthodox way. The thought made her sick to her stomach. She walked quickly up to her bedroom, leaving Draco looking slightly puzzled and concerned. What had she done? _She had just slept with Draco's Dad! The __**Death Eater **__Lucius Malfoy! _She felt so unfulfilled, like a part of her was missing…she instantly thought of Severus. Guilt washed over her like an incoming tide, filled with regret and anguish. There was absolutely no excuse for what she had done, no way she could blame drink or Lucius's wandering eye or her own anger and hurt. She had ruined Lucius's life, Narcissa's, Draco's as well as her own if anyone else found out. The devastation that could ripple from her own selfish behaviour was too much to take. Everything had gone exactly as she had planned but the misery and the pain that could be caused was not worth it in the slightest. She hadn't realised, she had been so blinded by hatred after what Severus had said that even causing him pain was not what she wanted at all. _She had hurt the one person that she loved most for no reason whatsoever._

_I miss him so much,_ she thought.

In her mind she saw Severus's endless black eyes, she saw him smiling down at her with a look that she had never seen on anybody's faces, **for her. **Hermione could see her and Severus lying on the grass together, the sky filled with blues, purples and reds as the sun slowly set for the day. Hermione and Severus lay companionably on the Gryffindor House table alone in the middle of the Great Hall watching the enchanted ceiling. Some said that the ceiling changed to reflect the mood of the people sat inside, Severus saw fit to mention, as birds flew overheard chirping merrily. Hermione had never felt so _alive._

_I miss him so much._

_Now I've ruined everything._


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you for your constant feedback and every single review you have given me. I apologise for the depressive nature of the most recent chapters, bear with me for just a little longer…

He sat beside the fire; his eyes boring into the flames that seemed to grow viciously the longer he stared, white-hot embers floating curiously atop the wisps that burnt ever so slowly. In his left hand, he held a tumbler half full of whisky, while his right hand loitered over the carbon black wooden cane that leant against his armchair. He swished the amber-brown liquid around in its glass before taking one long gulp and sitting the empty tumbler down on the table beside him. He had not been able to look Narcissa in the eye since _that _night; since _she _had seduced him in his own home, the filthy little mudblood. He felt awful and hadn't eaten in days, losing all motivation even his iconic cruelness – how did it happen? Why did he succumb? He lay back, closing his eyes and began to think deeply about his sins and his guilt. Then Lucius's eyes widened suddenly as he felt his left forearm seize up and burn like crazy, he shuddered as nausea overwhelmed him before he Apparated to meet his Dark Lord.

Severus had felt the calling too, right in the middle of an extremely awkward conversation with the last person he wanted to see right now. _She _had burst into his rooms without warning or invitation and then all she had to say to him was a sheepish 'hi.' He couldn't help but notice how anxious she had looked, dark rings hung under her eyes, the hazel sparkle that usually occupied them had faded and she looked duller than usual. There had been a silence where they both stood facing each other, occasionally looking up, catching the other's gaze and then averting their eyes to the floor. Then the Dark Mark began to burn furiously and he twitched. She looked up immediately, noticing his tense left arm. She gasped before she was overcome with worry. He gave her one last sincerely apologetic look before Apparating out of the dungeons. Dumbledore had granted Severus the ability to Apparate in and out of the castle, due to his need to travel quickly to and from Death Eater meetings. Severus always preferred Apparition to flying or on broomstick, even though Voldemort had of course taught his favourite follower how to fly using magic.

Arriving at a house in the middle of the deserted countryside, Severus spotted Lucius a few metres away and the men acknowledged each other silently. This house must be another Death Eater's house, thought Lucius, as long as it isn't mine…and then the doors magically open, with the two men striding through them. They approached the rectangular wooden table in the centre as always and yet again all the seats were filled except for one.

"My Lord," said Severus, bowing low.

The Dark Lord nodded, allowing Severus to take his seat.

"Lucius. I have something to ask you, come here," said the cold voice from the head of the table.

Lucius approached his master with dread, what could he possibly want? Voldemort turned quickly to penetrate Lucius with his blood red eyes; memories came flooding into his mind…he saw the Quidditch World Cup from the Director's Box, a duel with Sirius Black in the Department of Mysteries, kicking a house elf down a flight of stairs and then – what was that? A naked girl…long brown hair draped down her slender back and a red dress thrown carelessly across the back of a sofa…her face, it was too blurry…wait – Voldemort pulled himself from Lucius's mind before realising the intensity of the situation. His face tightened explicitly, anger boiling over him until it just exploded;

"CRUCIO!" he thundered, splitting the air with his wand as he shot the spell straight at Lucius.

Lucius cried out, his face reddening in discomfort as his body spasmed out of his control. Voldemort intensified the spell leaving Lucius with tears running down his pale face as he twitched constantly, his body felt like it was going to snap in half, he had never experienced pain like this. His blonde hair was strewn across the floor, his robes creasing against his pulsating movements; his eyes were clamped tightly shut. When Voldemort had finished with this torture, he began to speak, quietly but clearly, to the rest of the Death Eaters.

"Our _friend _Lucius here has betrayed every single one of us. This traitor before us has had **relations **with a mudblood."

Narcissa clutched at her heart, a panic stricken look plastered upon her face; she looked as if she was having a heart attack. Severus had to restrain a smirk, that fox Lucius up to his dirty old tricks again. But a _mudblood_, that was unexpected. Narcissa was now sobbing uncontrollably into the arm of Yaxley beside her, causing him to snatch away from her grasp. She felt like her world was crumbling around her, Lucius had been with another woman? A mudblood?

"Why don't we show them Lucius?" cawed the high voice.

"N-n-no, please!" Lucius pleaded before Voldemort silenced him with a flick of Lucius's own wand. Voldemort drew a light blue wispy liquid from Lucius's temple before stretching his arms widely, causing the memory to spread and spread until it was large enough for everyone in the room to see; Lucius's face widened in horror. The memory began to play and the room fell into pure silence as all of the Death Eaters watched avidly and Lucius began to whimper slightly. Lucius appeared in the memory sat on his sofa and laughter erupted from around the table; Severus chuckled too, he thought he was in for a treat. It was only when Hermione came into view, seductively whispering into Lucius's ear that Severus's heart stopped, he looked up in alarm to see her skimpily dressed and advancing on Lucius. He could not tear his eyes away, barely believing what he was seeing as Hermione took to removing Lucius's clothes; his heart felt fit to burst, what the hell was she doing? With Lucius Malfoy of all people!

When the memory had finished, there was a dense silence that hung over the room that was so heavy that even Narcissa's sobbing had ceased. Severus felt frozen in time; nothing around him mattered anymore except for this feeling worse than pain, making his body shudder from sickness. He went indescribably pale, his hands shook from what looked like anger but deep inside it was purely excruciating hurt.

"So you see Lucius's infidelity with none other than Miss Hermione Granger, in _his own home _no less." His tone conveyed an anger that they had never heard before.

"Severus. Fetch her, the mudblood. Now."

Severus jolted upright and rose out of his chair, striding towards the fireplace and shouting "Hogwarts Dungeons!" He returned in less than a minute, literally dragging Hermione by her arm and then throwing her onto the stone cold floor. He showed no emotion and had refused to speak to her when he fetched her; luckily she had remained in his rooms but he knew that she would. As she lay on the floor, she clutched at the arm that Severus had gripped tightly, rubbing it softly over the bruises that he had left. She looked so terrified and alone but right now he **really **couldn't care less.

"My friends, this is Hermione Granger. We met her a little over a month ago before her _friends _from the Order of the Phoenix rescued her. This time she won't be so lucky. Here my fellow Death Eaters is the filthy little mudblood that seduced Lucius and I think we should give her a lesson in etiquette."

Severus watched on grimly, he knew what was coming.

"How **dare **you sleep with a pure-blood wizard, a DEATH EATER! You disgust me. Crucio!" Voldemort cried.

Hermione screamed, her voice filling the room as she writhed and twitched from the curse; her scream continuing and causing some people around the table to cover their ears and averting their eyes from this horrific scene. Then she looked at Severus. Tears were raining down her face as she pleaded with him to help her. He stared back without flitching or remorse, just disgust as she struggled to cope and slowly began to give up. With her selfishness she had lost him; there was nothing holding her here anymore.

"Professor Snape…please," were her final words.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: By the way, I have no beta, but usually my spelling and punctuation is pretty decent. If it gets messed up, I'm sorry but it should be pretty obvious what I'm trying to say bear with me. Thanks for everything guys, these are the final two chapters. Enjoy.

Severus averted his eyes from the torture sequence, thinking quickly which was luckily what he did best. All of the Death Eaters watched Hermione suffering, occasionally giving short laughs, Lucius sat on his knees grieving and Narcissa stared daggers at her husband. Severus made sure no one was watching before taking his wand from the inner layers of his robes and casting a quick non-verbal spell underneath the table. Voldemort froze and Hermione fell crumpled to the floor free from his torture.

Voldemort quickly turned to face his Death Eaters, his red eyes gleaming nastily. He clamped eyes with the greasy haired man just in front of him who flinched under his gaze. His eyes narrowed at Severus, trying to decipher his feelings but he had put up a mental wall all around himself. His most loyal follower…Severus had attempted to go against his wishes - why? He had tried to prevent his master from torturing the mudblood…maybe he had learnt to care for her. The thought disgusted him to his core, _this would not do. _Voldemort had experienced this with Severus before. Severus had pleaded with him to spare another mudblood over fifteen years ago, a mudblood whose son just happened to be his mortal enemy. _He had desired her, that was all…_now Voldemort could see that time was to repeat itself. He could not allow it.

Using quick legilimency, Severus saw what Voldemort was about to do – they both screamed "Avada Kedavra!" at exactly the same time; green light from both wands met in the middle of the table causing a golden explosion of sparks that showered the rest of the Death Eaters. Severus saw Hermione struggling to sit up behind the Dark Lord, looking into his own dark eyes with such fiery devotion and respect that Severus nearly lost his concentration. Hermione lay there, paralysed with fear but feeling hope spreading through her body like fire.

Voldemort looked deeply into the Potion Master's eyes, _what the fuck was he doing? _He intensified his own spell while Severus did the same. Severus knew what he had to do. Concentrating on his feelings and emotions since Hermione came into his life, he edged round the table to face his Lord head on. He saw Hermione's face and then put every bit of love he had in his heart into this spell, forcing the golden sparks slowly towards Voldemort, _it's working! _As the golden sparks descended upon the Dark Lord, there was a huge explosion of light and power from their wands and during this confusion Snape grabbed Hermione and they disapparated to safety.

The disturbance passed after a flurry of spells being cast from all Death Eaters and Voldemort let out an almighty roar sending ripples like an earthquake emanating from him as the Death Eaters dived for cover. They leapt from their chairs, fearing for their lives as Voldemort blew the building apart and it crumbled around them.

When they arrived back at the dungeons Hermione was overwhelmed with relief, this was the second time Severus had saved her from certain death. She turned around slowly and looked up into his stark black eyes, they were oddly comforting and she felt safe whenever he was around. He looked down upon her, the hazel colour of her eyes becoming fuzzy as they glazed over with tears. She raised her hand, lightly stroking his left arm and pinching the fabric of his robes ever so slightly. As she did so, he felt his body becoming sensitive to her touch, this gentle stroking felt like she was sending three hundred volts of electricity through his body. The waiting was killing her. She laid her thumb across his bottom lip before closing the gap and kissing his tender pink lips. He closed his eyes, tasting her and revelling at how his body responded to Hermione like no woman ever before. He began to kiss her back and she felt this, instantly delighted and heightened the kiss.

The connection between them was more than magic; more than love…it was a connection that only came about once in every lifetime – a connection of souls. Their kiss ignited something deep inside that burnt like gasoline, flames erupting with such passion; heat exploding in their hearts and combining the two of them. Neither could or would stop, worshipping, cherishing the other, showing them how the kiss awakened their senses and heightened them to beyond breaking point. As they reluctantly pulled apart for air, they stood apart for a while just thinking. Thoughts of the future, their future as they heard the wind rippling the trees and saw the soft waves caressing the shore, barely making a noise at all so as not to disturb the lovers who continued to dream. Severus held Hermione around the waist, his thumb making circular motions into the small of her back making her drowsy and she leant forward into his embrace. They held each other, Severus nuzzling into her hair and stroking her back; Hermione snaking her arms underneath his robes and listening to the beating of his heart.

Out of the blue, he pushed her roughly away by the shoulders before turning swiftly around and putting his back to her. His only words were "get out…please, Hermione just go." He never even turned to face her. And so she ran. She ran through the winding corridors of Hogwarts, not even thinking where she was going or paying any attention to the people around her. It was not worth it to try and reason with him, she knew that, but she felt distraught, their kiss had been so longing-filled and passionate and overdue…but he had pushed her away! Why? When she began to slow, she realised she was outside of Professor Dumbledore's office. She told the phoenix the correct password and ascended the golden staircase where she was greeted with a familiar smile.

"Hello, Miss Granger. Can I help you with anything?" he said kindly, offering her a seat by his desk.

And she told him everything.

At that point she had begun crying incessantly without pausing for breath, spilling all of her fears and doubts to this man who truthfully she barely knew.

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Severus drew his cloak around his shaking body; why did she affect him so? The way she had so willingly kissed him, wanting to be close and intimate with him, forcing him to expose himself and all of his vulnerabilities. He hated being vulnerable, showing his flaws and the deepest desires of his heart. This was so not like him. He sighed to himself, worrying about her wandering the castle alone before realising she was a woman, a very capable woman who could easily take care of herself. She was such a wonderful human being, he thought, a ludicrously intelligent witch, a compassionate and extremely loving person who had taken him in despite all of his past and how he had treated her over her years at Hogwarts; it was no wonder he had fallen in love with her so deeply.

Making his way up to the Astronomy Tower, he began to reminisce over the kiss that he had shared with her here before…she had thought it was a dream but he couldn't bear to tell her the truth, he had taken advantage over her. He stood at the very top, overlooking the scenery; the shimmering blues of the lake that reflected the fullest moon. The tall, authorative trees surrounding it and protecting its beauty from the night; darkness hung upon the scene with the cloudless depth of the sky swallowing him whole. He felt at peace here, at home. The memories nearly forced him to shed a tear and he restrained it for as long as possible before he could bear it no longer.

His black cloak became unsettled by the prevailing wind until he forcedly wrapped it back around himself. Twice he had fallen in love, twice he had been unable to predict or prevent it, twice he would be left a broken and unloved man; he swallowed hard. Images of her and Lucius were drifting around in his brain; their fumbling hands, clothes tossed needlessly aside – he furrowed his brow, lowering his head slightly as if succumbing to the fates.

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Hermione sat down with Professor Dumbledore for a while before Albus stood up suddenly like he was having an epiphany, he grabbed Hermione and vacated his office. Albus probably could have predicted this turn of events, he allowed himself to admit they were a perfect match like the two last pieces of a jigsaw: completing each other. Both were unrivallably brave, indescribably intelligent and had so much love in their hearts to share. The Headmaster was glad at times like these that he had such a brilliant mind; he could perceive events and reactions in an instant and at this precise moment he could read Severus like a children's book. He took Hermione half way up the Astronomy Tower before placing a finger to his lips and giving her a gentle nudge to continue climbing the Tower.

Hermione stepped slowly and quietly further and further up the Tower, wondering what that amazing old man had in store for her. Maybe it was Harry and Ron, she hadn't seen them in such a long time. And then she saw him. He sat alone, feet dangling over the side of the Tower, dark hair flickering in the breeze, robes billowing around his slender frame; even now he still managed to keep his towering presence. The sky was moving quickly overheard, dark clouds swirling together with the deep sapphire colours of the night's sky surging above them; underneath all of this were Severus and Hermione. For a minute or so, she stood there contentedly watching his peaceful self before she got a grip on reality and remembered why Professor Dumbledore had brought her here. She gave a small cough and Severus turned instantly to face her. His face was impassive as usual but she sensed his posture relax a little at her presence and she too felt her heart leap when their eyes met like a magnetic connection.

"Hi," said Hermione, shyly.


	10. Chapter 10

A.N: Thank you all for sticking through this with me, I really hope you enjoy this, because it is the last chapter of this fanfic ever! It's genuinely really sad to say goodbye to it and to you since it has taken up the past month or so of my life writing it. Thank you so much for all the positive reviews, they are appreciated so much you wouldn't believe it if I told you. ENJOY :D

They stood for several moments without any words, just surveying each other like they had never met before. Severus saw her hair waving in the gentle breeze while she wrapped her arms self-consciously around herself and she flushed slightly under the intensity of his gaze. He looked deeply into her eyes, studying them and their kind nature, how they would sparkle when the light caught them and her lips would purse slightly when she was concentrating. The moon was high in the sky above them as they stood in pure silence, using the time to remember every little detail of the other that they could; savouring every memory they had together.

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She stayed well away from him, knowing full well that she couldn't throw him out of his own house, keeping herself to herself and staying busy. He lived mainly in the room where _it_ happened, trying to flush the memories out and draining all the alcohol from the house. His private stores of whisky and brandy had come in useful in helping him drown his self-pity and guilt, while the alcohol consumed his mind. _Why has all of this been dumped upon him? Did he really deserve to lose his wife, his son, his way of life over a stupid girl that had controlled and used him for her own personal gain? _Since everything had been revealed to Narcissa, he had felt so alone. Even the simple things like laying in bed beside her, eating meals with her, the casual and everyday comforts like a quick kiss in the morning…he had never felt so low in all his life. It was as if he was at the bottom of the ocean with the weight of the world crushing down upon him and squeezing all air from his lungs and life from his body. Like everyone had left him to die and he lay alone and helpless, losing himself without any reason to stay in this world – there was no happiness left in him anymore, like he was surrounded by thousands of dementors that were sucking all hope and goodness from the hollow shell that was his body. He sunk back into his chair, allowing the tumbler to fall from his hand to the cold, marble floor with a smash as he lost consciousness, swarmed and overwhelmed by the depression in his body and mind.

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The sun was slowly rising from the depths of the obsidian black sky, penetrating the darkness with its orange and golden tones. They stood together still after all this time, neither one daring to disturb the silence, until Hermione Granger's Gryffindor courage awoke inside her.

"How have you been?" she dared, rearranging her feet several times in her nervousness and mentally shouting at herself for the stupidness of her question.

Severus took his time to formulate a reply, making sure he was saying the right thing.

"I've been…better." His attempt at a casual tone failed, his words were sharp and contained a lot more emotion than he would have liked.

"I…I just wanted to explain myself," she began, partly waiting for an invitation from Severus to continue.

He inclined his head, allowing her to express her feelings to him; when he had discovered the truth about her and Lucius Malfoy, his emotions had been contorted with rage. What he didn't realise was that as soon as he heard it, he forgave her. Although the thought did still make him nauseous.

"Severus, I just wanted you to know that…I only did what I did be-because…because I – I love you." She stopped abruptly, gasping and covering her mouth with her hands. He simply looked at her, his eyes widening a little in shock at her words yet he remained silent.

"I just wanted to make you jealous, but that seems so silly now. Someone like you would never have feelings for a mudblood like me. I'm so sorry I forced myself upon you, it won't happen again." Tears began leaking from the corners of her eyes.

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Narcissa entered the room that Lucius had vacated to for the past week, gazing around it before laying eyes upon his drunken form. Her expression softened naturally and she began to move slowly over to the sofa where her husband lay; she stroked the blonde hair from his face and his eyes flickered slightly at her touch. He opened his eyes to see his wife above him looking deeply into his grey eyes. His heart leapt; this was the closest she had been to him in a week; maybe he could apologise to her now, maybe she would believe him.

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"Hermione…I honestly don't care if you are muggle-born. You're so –" he paused, knowing that he was not very good with words, especially now when he needed to explain how he was feeling.

She had literally ripped his heart from his chest and shredded it into tiny pieces before his eyes. He lifted his arm and wiped the tears from her eyes, leaving his hand on her face and cupping her cheek whilst stroking her cheek lightly.

"You just **have **to understand…I feel so guilty and disgusting and…"

He moved his finger to her lips, he could basically read her mind and knew what she needed to say. She genuinely was sorry; he could feel it in his heart. Putting his hands on her waist, he pulled her into an embrace. He shocked himself by this sudden bodily contact between them and when she grasped him tightly he didn't know how to react. He could smell her hair strongly as he rested his chin upon her head; it smelt beautiful like coconut and strawberries and every scent that he loved most…Hermione's scent. He inhaled deeply before squeezing her and shutting his eyes. She sighed contentedly, snuggling into him and resting her head on his chest as his heart beat peacefully underneath her ear; this sound was so relaxing, like listening to the sea or the sound of his voice – she felt totally at home in his arms.

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Tears sprung to his wife's eyes and the harder she tried to disguise them, the denser they became. Lucius didn't know what to do; he might scare her if he offered her a hug too soon. He felt his heart breaking like porcelain under a hammer having to see her like this.

"Lucius, do you still love me?" she asked timidly.

"More than you'll ever know, my darling." His own voice suddenly strained and began to break under the emotion.

She simply looked at him, trying to calculate his emotions and to assess whether he was telling the truth or not. Lucius felt so depressed, as if he had been shut away in a room with no doors or windows, no way to escape, and he was left to die…dying would be a relief to him now, he just wished his wife would end this torture.

"I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you've done."

His heart sank and sank. It felt like he was falling and falling, suddenly jolting upright as he hit the floor.

"You have hurt me so much…I-I-" she broke down, crying into her hands as her heart pounded in her chest; she needed him without question, there was no living without him…it just pained her each time she looked at him. Every time she did, she saw him with _her._

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He wanted to ravish her, to show her his love, open his heart, his life and his world to her and hold her like this forever. She tilted her head up gently, prising his chin from her head leaving them at the perfect angle…Hermione looked up at his lips; they looked so pristine and kissable. She smiled and he moved his hands around her back, loving the feel of her so close to him. He moved his head down until their foreheads met and he tilted his head to the side. She was in heaven; his hands were wandering around her as if independent from his body as she watched him curiously. Their lips joined with Severus making the first move and he ravished her like he had wanted to. He closed his eyes in pure bliss as their kiss deepened and Hermione began moving her hands higher and higher up his body until she grasped the sides of his face, controlling the kiss. She allowed herself access to his mouth, kissing him feverishly, contagiously…like her and Lucius had been nothing.

The feelings that Severus evoked in her were totally opposed to how she had felt with Lucius: with Severus she felt loved, equal, like she was floating above the world where nothing could ever bother them again. With Lucius she had felt on edge all the time, cold, dangerous and dirty like it was all just for the sake of it and it really had been – there was no love there.

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Lucius was now sinking into the pits of hell as Narcissa watched over him; he grew paler and less responsive by the second.

"Lucius…Lucius – please listen."

He opened his eyes ever so slightly before a hoarse whisper escaped his lips.

"Without you, my love…no pain is worth withstanding. Just remember that I loved you throughout all of this _shit, _and I still do! She was a worthless slut, I am only a man after all…I know that's no excuse but I wasn't thinking…I am so sorry."

Narcissa gaped at him, she couldn't bear to see him like this; moving her head closer to him, she placed her hands either side of her husband's face and kissed his forehead…_he is only a man._

He gazed up at her with a love so powerful in his eyes, she slowly moved down and kissed him fully on the lips. Where she had kissed him, he felt warmth spreading through his entire body and without hesitation he kissed her back with everything that his weak, alcohol-fuelled body could muster. Her eyes back to water again, teas streaming down her face and entangling into their kiss. Narcissa's tears washed away her doubts and Lucius's sins, combining the two of them together again with such force; it was like they had fallen in love all over again.

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Hermione clung to his robes like a leech and he tightened his grip on her even more.

"I love you so much, Hermione," he whispered into her ear.

His voice sent shivers down her spine, caressing her like velvet and making her want him like she had never wanted anyone before. They held each other at the top of the Tower for many hours, watching the glorious sunrise together. How wonderful it was to behold nature like this with the one person who had truly opened your eyes to it all in the first place. It was like nature was blessing their relationship; the sunrise symbolising the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

They often came back up to this spot over the years to reminisce how their love was born; it was still their favourite passionate place in the world. And Severus made sure Albus realised his gratitude after Hermione told him of the old man's plan to 'hook them up'; every time this date came around each year, Albus came to breakfast in the Great Hall to find an enormous basket of sherbet lemons awaiting him.


End file.
